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    Baltazar made a face as he swallowed the time travel sickness pill. “Could have made them smaller” he grumbled.

    Intu rolled her eyes. “Stop being such a jess and take this” she said, handing him a smoking frothing potion in a tall silver cup. “For the side effects of the Replicator.”

    “I hate this time of year. Trying to be in a hundred places at once, all because of that stupid tradition.”

    “How do you think I feel?” asked Jesus. “At least you don’t have to wear a nappy.”

    “It’s not a nappy, it’s swaddling clothes. Haven’t they finished with all that religion stuff yet?” said Baltazar. “Maybe if we just don’t turn up, it will bring the end forward? Can’t we just stay here in Tartessos? Bugger their parades, I’m not going again.”

    Intu gasped. “Baltazar, you can’t let me down now. This might very well be the last time, if everything goes according to plan. I tell you what, I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll arrange for you to meet the reindeer pee travelling salesman on the way.”