1/11/2007
Finn felt the time had come to call a meeting.
She closed her eyes and waited to see which of the others would appear.
Yuni1 arrived first. Yuni had first arrived in her meditations about a year ago, a playful, mischievous character, gnomelike, who nonetheless had always given her very wise and practical advise. Armelle the wise Owl appeared next, silently, her loving energy enveloping Finn. The Indian also appeared. Finn did not know the Indian’s name, she called him White Feather and she was pleased to see him there, having not seen him for some time. A playful Lemur came bounding over. There were several other energies present and Finn knew they would make their identity known if needed, but she could feel their support.
I have been feeling quite heavy for several months now and it has been becoming more intense. I am tired of it. It’s as though I am wearing the cloak of heaviness again. I don’t understand it, and I don’t know how to take it off, Finn announced to the assembled group.
I want to know if you can help me?
Yuni spoke first, or rather he waved the faith document2 at her. Finn winced. She remembered the document well. I didn’t know you meant this long, she said quietly.
Armelle gave her a gift. When Finn opened the box, there was a joyful explosion of light and colour. There was also a key.
The key is Self Trust, said Finn, answering Armelle’s unspoken question.
White Feather had been whittling a piece of wood. He handed it to Finn. It was a staff. This symbolises powerful magic, he told her.
Finn felt herself withdraw, not wanting to cause offense and reject the gift, yet not feeling worthy.
This is your decision, said White Feather
Finn felt Armelle smile at her. She took the staff and thanked White Feather.
Do you remember the boxes you made as a child? asked Armelle
Finn nodded. It was one of the games she had loved to play with her older sister, transforming old cardboard boxes into designer rooms. They would painstakingly and lovingly decorate the interiors to create new worlds. Once the rooms were created they may play with them for a few minutes, but would pretty soon be onto the next one, it was the creating they loved.
Cast your mind back a few years, Armelle said. What were the things you wanted then?
Finn cast her mind back.
You have it all don’t you, said Armelle gently.
Yes I do, said Finn. Everything I wanted I have in my life.
You have created powerfully Finn.
Why do I feel so heavy? I suppose because what I thought I wanted has changed and I am trying to still keep it the same. Finn wanted to cry.
I don’t really know what I want anymore though.
What do you know? asked Armelle
I know how I want to feel.
Finn was on a raft, floating downstream. She closed her eyes and decided to let the river take her where it will.
1 Finn had tried to spell Yuni’s name as Uni initially, interpreting him to be symbolic of one of the “faeries of the Universe”, however Yuni had been adamant that was not the correct spelling. When Finn looked up Yuni only meaning she could find was “man from Iunu”.
2 The “Faith Document” was like a legal document Yuni gave Finn to sign, indicating that whatever happened she would keep trusting. Finn was surprised to note when she looked up in her records that this was November 1 st, exactly a year ago.